okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
