Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
