checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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