You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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