fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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