my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
