I could make wine with my vomit
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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