Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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