Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
no you cant smoke seaweed
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hippo gnu deer
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
