scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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