Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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