After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
