My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
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Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.