Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.