my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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