Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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