When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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