tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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