this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
