I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
