i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize