May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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