I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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