I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
