erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
