we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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