Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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