i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
