Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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