question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize