No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
