can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
