you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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