I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
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the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this