Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal