I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
