I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
