Michael Bay diarrhea
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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