she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
