dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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