yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
