you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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