Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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