Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize