this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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