it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
