Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's shark week go big or go home
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
