I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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