Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
