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why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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