smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
