its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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