Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
