And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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