My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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