did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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