let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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