you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
