Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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