What a fucking waste of an outfit
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
